Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
