I'm drive I can fine osifer
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
