Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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