i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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