No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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