Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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