i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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