I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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