If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
