Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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