Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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