Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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