My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
