Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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