We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just want nice things and good sex
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
