I will die if light touches me.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
