I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
