if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Farmville is her only friend.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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