a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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