Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
