he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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