what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
