He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
