I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
