Its about making memories worth repressing
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
