I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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