Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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