just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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