Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize