shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
