i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Randomize
