Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
