I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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