So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
