so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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