does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
