Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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