Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize