So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
