A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
