dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
