Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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