no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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