so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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