I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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