I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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