I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
