I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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