We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
