You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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