I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
