What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
