Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Well I just put wine in my tea
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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