and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize