so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
