So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
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So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
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I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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